I have five months left before I complete my master’s degree. I still cannot believe that I’ve come this far. Next month will be the beginning of my dissertation paper, which will define the primary reason why I started Graduate School. I’m not going to lie to you, but I feel scared to begin my dissertation paper. I know exactly what I want to write. The main problem begins with the fact that I have to start from scratch because there is no data available for my paper. Then comes my career. I’m not happy the way things are around in my career life but I understand God has a purpose for me. I haven’t been able to find my career for a year. The feeling of completing my master’s degree excites me but when I think about where I will work, worries me a lot. People keep telling me that I will get hired immediately right after I complete graduate school. That’s not the part that worries me. The part that worries me the most is how will I be treated at work. Will I be allowed to use the phone again? Will I be allowed to attend important meetings? I don’t feel human when I’m treated that way. I feel robotic. I don’t want to feel that way anymore. My brother moved recently because he got a new job and moved to a different city. I miss him so much! I miss talking to a friend. Being home alone has depressed me a lot.
This is what I am going to do. I’m going to defend and speak up for myself. No more letting others telling me what I’m not allowed to do. I will do what I know I can do and the rights I have. I’m going to heal and forgive my employers. I know healing is not going to be easy, but forgiving is the beginning of my journey to heal. I forgive those who negatively impacted my life. I forgive those who thought I will never make it this far. I forgive those who hurt me. I forgive those who do not want me to succeed. Best of all, I’m going to start living healthy and happy. This is the time to enjoy life, live a great life, cherish myself and others. I am going to live better and a happy person each day 🙂