A year ago, I drove 400 miles away for a job interview. It was the job I wanted and did not get an offer. I blew it and it wasn’t my fault. My ex ignored me for weeks and dumped me over the phone an hour before my job interview. Not to mention it was his birthday too. We dated four years, he broke my heart and my pride. I was stuck 400 miles away without friends and family support. I stayed with my brother, stopped job searching, and deactivated all my social media accounts to avoid drama. For two months I cried myself to sleep and experienced panic attacks. Eventually, it was time for me to arrive home because I hit rock bottom and ran out of money.
Since the breakup, I haven’t been the same. This is what I learned from the breakup. He became impatient and lost interest in me because I have hearing loss. I am sure that he’s seeing or dating a normal hearing person. I don’t blame him because I am different. It wouldn’t be fair to make a guy love me, be patience long-term, and understand me.
For a whole year, I focused on healing my heart. I tweeted daily to feed my heart with positive words and got active on my blogging site. I ate healthy and exercised 2-3 hours per day to lose weight. I used to weight 169 lbs and today I weight 137 lbs. Now that I lost a lot of weight, feel confident, and my heart is feeling better. I’m ready to start dating. As a 27 year old single woman with a hectic work schedule; I have no choice but to try online dating. Trust me, I am not liking the online dating and I understand that I’m risking my life. Guys like me and then they ignore me without an explanation.
Despite being beautiful, unique, caring, and affectionate; I feel so lonely. I arrive home after work wishing someone would text or give me a call. The feeling of loneliness and emptiness is not healthy. I have no one to talk to whenever I get home and that’s why I try to visit the gym everyday. When someone texts me or rarely gives me a call; I get too excited which makes the other person uncomfortable.
Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day. I never had a date on Valentine’s Day and do not see myself dating a person tomorrow. I’m going to do something different. I will go out on a date by myself. I will act, think, and feel happy. Give myself the best date I always wanted to experience on Valentine’s Day. I will wake up at 4:30 AM for a morning hike, make a birthday breakfast for mother which is tomorrow, give her the lovely flowers she deserves and myself as well. I’ll wear the new sexy dress and high heels I recently bought for my self date. Eat hot wings for lunch, watch a movie at the theater, have dinner at a restaurant by myself, and take pictures. The following day, I will post a follow-up about my self date.